If your child is being bullied
Wanting to protect our children is a natural instinct - so if someone is hurting them we may have very strong feelings about the person or people who are doing it. We may also feel guilty because we haven't 'protected' our child - even though it is impossible for us to do that all of the time. Our child's experience may also trigger other memories in us, for example if we were bullied ourselves, it might bring back lots of hurt and anger. Understanding all of these different things is important because they can affect how we handle the situation.
Common signs of bullying
Parents, carers and families are often the first people to notice the signs that a child or young person is being bullied. Common symptoms can include:
- Headaches
- Stomach-aches
- Anxiety and irritability
- Fear of walking to or from school
- Reluctance to go to school
- Sudden changes in routine behaviour
- Has ‘lost’ or damaged personal possessions
If you think your child is being bullied, follow the steps below.
- Listen to your child and assure them that they will be safe after ‘telling’. Try not to ‘blame’ or criticise them, even if you think they haven’t handled it well – they have done the best they could. Try to record everything that has happened.
- Talk with them about what they want to happen. The way you do this will depend on their age and the type of bullying. Try and think of all the options – sometimes children have the best ideas so try and encourage them to make suggestions. For example
- They could tell a teacher
- You could talk to their teacher
- They could try to ignore it
- They could try and stay with friends at the times when the bullying happens
- Help them to think about the consequences of each, for example they might suggest that they could retaliate – that might work but then again it might make it worse and they might well get into trouble.
- Agree with them what the next steps will be. There is no ‘right’ response, it needs to be what will work for your child, but remember, no one deserves to be bullied – so if they want to try something themselves you need to keep checking to see how it’s going. Your child needs to know that you will step in if it doesn’t stop.
- Think of ways to build your child’s confidence and self esteem – doing fun things, learning self defence, showing them that you love and value them can all help them to deal with any bullying that they experience.
- Think about your own support needs – talk with friends or family or see our resource list for agencies that might be able to support you
Sometimes when children are involved in bullying parents think about home education as an alternative to school. In most cases this is not necessary as the problems can be sorted out - but if you do want to find out more, ring the Education Social Work Service on 01926 742520 or click on the link below. (Click 'back' on your browser to return to this page.)
You can get more information about supporting your child by clicking on the links below
If you have serious concerns about your child’s emotional health, talk to your GP.
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